Stuff Goths Like

Drama can be defined as making a private conflict public. Goths who say they are “sick of the drama” are invariably the ones in the middle of it. Do not be fooled by this statement; goths like any excuse to be persecuted and misunderstood. They also believe goth social drama exceeds that of any other group, perhaps with the exception of the gay community. Do not point out that any group whose loosely-affiliated members spend extended periods of time together will experience conflict. Publicly airing fights, grudges and grievances is easier than ever with social networking and blogging. Never suggest that private resolution amongst involved parties is an effective strategy. Just let the goth “punish” the social scene with the ultimate snub: deleting their Facebook/MySpace/LiveJournal accounts and staying home on weekends. Take this opportunity to remove the goth from your friends list with guiltless impunity and never look back.

If a goth who is “sick of the drama” decides to switch to a slightly different subculture — e.g. the indie scene because it only requires a new haircut, a scarf, and skinny jeans — you will never hear the end of how much better this subculture is. The new scene’s people will be friendlier, smarter, and more mature until the music goes out of style or the “former goth” has sex with someone who is taken.