Goths love cats because they are elegant, independent, aloof, sleep a lot and throw up on things, just like Goths. Goth cats are named after ancient pagan deities or bands. There are no exceptions.
Each cat will have an elaborate origin story rivaling that of a superhero. No goth has ever gone to a pet store to buy a cat.
Pets are children to goths, even if they actually have children. This poses a problem when goths move in together, because the multiple cats as a group must somehow form a family a la The Brady Bunch. However, instead of hilarious hijinks, this usually results in cat pee everywhere.
Why cats? Because Goths need a familiar, and it’s harder to own a dog in an apartment.
photo by PentaxSLR
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So what if you’re allergic to cats, have a goth background AND your name is Cat. What. The. Hell.
Triple whammy!
hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahhaha!
What is Goose’s excuse?