Drama can be defined as making a private conflict public. Goths who say they are “sick of the drama” are invariably the ones in the middle of it. Do not be fooled by this statement; goths like any excuse to be persecuted and misunderstood. They also believe goth social drama exceeds that of any other [...]
Archive for March, 2009
Graphic Novels
Posted in Books, tagged comic book, graphic novel on March 19, 2009 | 4 Comments »
Goths often are comic book geeks or have mated with one. Their interest in comics predates their gothness. Parents should be wary of small children interested in comics, as these are a gateway drug. Certain comics, such as Archie & Jughead, should not cause alarm. Comic books with actual comedy are not an early warning [...]
Clove Cigarettes
Posted in Vices, tagged cigarettes, cloves, djarum on March 17, 2009 | 20 Comments »
Goths love clove cigarettes. Is it because many cloves are black? Is it because they taste better? Is it because they are worse for your health than regular cigarettes, therefore beckoning Death at an accelerated rate? No one knows. If you wish to befriend a Goth, strike up a conversation with, “Would you like [...]
Cats
Posted in Animals, tagged cats, pets on March 17, 2009 | 5 Comments »
Goths love cats because they are elegant, independent, aloof, sleep a lot and throw up on things, just like Goths. Goth cats are named after ancient pagan deities or bands. There are no exceptions. Each cat will have an elaborate origin story rivaling that of a superhero. No goth has ever gone to a pet [...]
Websites with Black Backgrounds
Posted in Websites, tagged gothic.net on March 17, 2009 | 3 Comments »
Goths have horrible eyesight from the strain of reading web sites with white text on black backgrounds. Don’t bother to look for a goth site or MySpace page without a black background. There aren’t any. You can only pray the text is white rather than red. Count yourself lucky if there are no dripping blood [...]
Procrastination
Posted in Irony on March 16, 2009 | 3 Comments »
Goths like to procrastinate working on their great artistic masterpiece. And blog posts.
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